Marriages are made in heaven

My maternal uncle and aunt successfully completed their 25 years of married life. I attended their silver jubilee party yesterday and it gave me a lot of insight about marriages. I wish them many more happy years together.

A marriage that lasts for 25 years, Isn’t this an achievement?

May be this wouldn't have sounded great 25 years ago. My parents spent more than that, probably there will be many in their generation. But now, this thought amuses me for several reasons.
Recently an acquaintance told me “we have a marriage deal for 3 years, let’s see if it works for 3 years. If it does not work, we will part ways”. Even before they could get married, they decided on the time frame of how long their marriage would last.

In recent times, I don’t see many marriages lasting for more than 10 years. I’ve seen marriages falling between 1 to 10 years. Is it that difficult to maintain the relationships? How did our elders managed to keep up the relation for so long?

No relationship is perfect; we need to make some adjustments and compromises to keep them going. After spending almost 4 years in the marital bliss, these are my thoughts for a good togetherness:

• Respect each other’s time and values.
• Give individual spaces (My space, your space and our space).
• Speak up: Never keep things for yourselves, voice out your opinions, tell them if you don’t like something. Ensure you say that at the right time.
• Follow forget and forgive policy. Don’t nag about the past.
• Keep your ego away and be open to ask for forgiveness.
• Stop being demanding and understand each other’s needs.
• Marriage is not about two individuals; it comes with a package of two families, accept them wholeheartedly.
• Don’t take each others for granted. Make them feel special.
• Spend quality time together (vacations, game, shopping, gymming etc).
• Be true to your partners. Do not cheat at their backs.
• Live up with all the promises that you made when you got married.
• Don't let your relationship fade away; add life to it.

Marriage is a beautiful bond between two individuals.

Baby on Board

I always marvel when I see the sign “Baby on Board” behind the cars. I don’t see a point with this. It puts me into thinking:

1. A baby is inside the car so don’t come and bash the car.
2.  I am still learning to drive (taking baby steps) so keep distance from me.
3.  Don’t honk like a maniac, a baby is sleeping inside the car.
4.  Don’t get irritated by my slow driving. I have a baby inside the car.

What does this really mean? Is this an instruction for someone who is driving just behind your car? Are you telling someone only to be careful when there is a child inside? Can anyone come and ram into you, if there is no child?

I always feel one should drive slowly and carefully all the times regardless of whether there is a baby inside the car or not. Everybody’s life is important, be it yours or someone else. Each one of us should be responsible for our act. We cannot be recklessly driving and hurting/killing people on the roads. Mind you an adult’s life is equally important. When you can be cautious with the sign and slow down, you might as well be sensible all the time.

Should every car display a sign like this to be safe on the roads?

Smart Thieves

Two very well dressed women, both carrying babies boarded a fully packed bus. There was not enough space to even stand. Two young girls seated in the first seat, discussing about their corporate futures saw them and one of them offered a seat. The lady sat down with her baby, the baby must be not even a month old. It was a tiny little baby, tucked in a warmer, sleeping cozily. I stood in front and admired the beauty of the baby. The lady sat down with a hand-bag and a baby on her lap. She offered to hold my hand-bag. I said, “It’s fine, I shall get down in the next stop, I will manage”. She smiled at me and then asked the girl, who gave her the seat. The girl gave this lady her bag and stood behind. The baby cried and the lady tried to sooth the baby. After two stops, this lady gave the girl her bag and stood up to get down the bus. The girl looked happy as she got her seat back and continued the conversation with her friend. As soon as these two ladies got off the bus, the conductor shouted from behind. He asked everyone to check our hand-bags to see if anything was stolen. Everyone checked their hand bags frantically. The girl who offered the lady a seat checked hers and realized her wallet was missing. She screamed, the bus stopped, they looked for those two ladies but couldn’t find them anywhere. Poor girl who offered her a seat thought she did a good deed. In return to her endeavor she lost her wallet. Her wallet was stolen by the same lady who took help from her. I got down the bus thinking my wallet would have been lost, If I had given her my bag. I probably would have given mine, is she didn’t had the baby on her lap. I didn’t give her thinking it was an inconvenience to her.

It is difficult to trust anyone these days. We cannot be suspicious at everyone we meet. How can we not trust anyone? When we look at those two ladies, we won’t even get a second thought about them being thieves. She flicked the wallet in front of everyone, no one even realized it. Should we praise her intelligence?

Beware of such incidents in the bus. Do not give your valuables to any strangers.

My new obsession

My choice of colors are always dull. I never picked up anything bright, unless I get that as a gift from someone. Suddenly I am all in love with bright colors.

Power of a smile :-)

"Smile and the world smiles back at you"

Whoever said this line is so true and I have a story to vouch for this. This happened over the last weekend en-route from Mangalore. I don’t know if it was the hectic travel or lack of sleep, I was totally worn out. I tried hard to sleep in the car but failed to do so. There was one such incident uplifted my mood. I couldn’t stop myself writing this here.

We were about 200 Kms away from Bangalore. There was a traffic jam on the high way and we had to take a diversion to avoid it. We got into some village roads. I was trying to catch up some sleep. But the ride on those bumpy roads disturbed my sleep and kept me awake. I looked out of the window; we drove inside some private property with few houses around. The coconut trees stood tall and welcomed us. It was wonderful to watch the sun-set amidst the coconut grooves. It was a feast to watch the lush greenery on either sides of the road. It was a narrow path and we had difficulty to drive on the road; sheep, buffaloes and cows had blocked our way. Just then, I saw some kids on the road who smiled and waved at me. Mind you, someone I have never seen before in my life. It was a reflexive action; I too smiled and waved back at them. I experienced a different feeling all together. I was uplifted. My tiredness was gone; I was wide awake and felt happy. I rolled down the window without caring about the AC was turned on. I didn’t care it was dusty and sunny. I popped out my head and looked outside. I enjoyed watching the sun-set, animals, people, kids and the greenery. I found so many other kids on the way and kept waving at all of them. The kids seemed very happy to see so many vehicles in their village (probably they don’t see that often) and stood in front of their houses. I screamed, smiled and waved at each one of them. The folks in my car found that a little funny or rather weird. Nonetheless, it helped me discover the childishness in me.

I kept thinking about how powerful a smile (genuine) can be. You could be having a worst day of your life, but that one smile can uplift your mood. Try it out! That’s exactly happened to me. I was charged up with the wonderful smiles. Though I didn’t know any of them but the warmth in their smile made me feel I was part of them.The innocence in those kids made me think of my childhood days. While I used to play with my friends, whenever we would hear the sound of the train, we would go near the railway crossing and wave at everyone, regardless of anyone waving back at us. We would continue to wave till the train was out of our sight. I wonder if anyone else had the same impact with our smiles too.


So please continue to smile and make a difference is someone’s life :-)

We are like this only :-(

I am still enraged with today’s incident in the gym. As I am typing this I am hitting the keys on my laptop so hard that the guy next to me is actually looking at me. I usually hit the gym after 8 PM when it’s pretty much empty. So I get enough space to work out. Not that I would require the entire 20x15 space for myself.

Today for some reason Thiru and I decided to go at 6:30, by the time I was about to start my workout it was almost 7 PM. The moment I entered, I saw many guys flaunting their toned bodies (about ten of them); I was uncertain to get inside but made up my mind to go. I was dazed to see the remaining ten. I have no clue from where the rest of them came from. I didn’t find a vacant treadmill (obviously 20 people and 3 treadmills not an easy chance). I looked around and found an unoccupied elliptical cycle. I jumped and grabbed it even before someone could put an eye on that. As you all know about my OCD, I can’t workout without running on a treadmill. I couldn’t put my heart on that machine. I got off and still hoping to find an empty treadmill. I didn’t know what else to do except to stand and wait. While I was doing that I counted the number of people in the gym. No exaggerations, there were about twenty (including us). OMG! You must be wondering how can twenty people fit inside a 20x15 room, isn’t it? It actually happened today and I am the witness for that.

Anyways I was still hoping to find an empty treadmill standing in a corner. My trainer Karthik comes and says “you do the lower body workouts today” (different versions of lunges and squats). I laughed at him and said to myself how on earth I will do lunges and squats when there is no place to even stand. I ignored his instructions and still waiting for an opportunity to grab the treadmill. Luck didn’t seem to favor me; it looked like people were running a marathon on the treadmill. Finally I went up to one guy and asked him how much more time he would take to get off. When I heard he would just need three more minutes, I didn’t budge and stood next to him. While I was standing there (facing the mirror) I see a heavy weighted man with a really big belly, sweating buckets trying to wipe off his sweat from his forehead. The minute he realized he didn’t completely wipe it off; he pulled off his tee till chest level and started wiping his whole face showing off his big belly. I froze with embarrassment looking that in the mirror. The sight was totally unpleasant. Firstly if he was working out in a gym, it’s obvious that he would sweat. The basic fixation is to carry a face towel along with him. Say if has forgotten to get it, there is something called face tissues, please he should use them. It’s totally unacceptable to pull his tee and wipe it by showing his full belly. People might be crazy to watch some six-eight packs or even the flat belly of some belly dancers. Mind it, they wouldn’t want to look at a single pack (full belly).

Finally when I got the treadmill I ignored everything else and enjoyed my running. But once I was out from there couldn't stop to pen it down.

Note: Please contact Prashanth for another interesting story about sweatothon.

Sweet memories

When Neha saw the notification on Facebook ‘Rajeev commented on Rahul’s photo’, she jumped off from her chair to see which Rahul was it. She viewed Rahul’s profile, could not get much from it, as his account was blocked with the privacy settings. After seeing couple of other comments from Rajeev she confirmed; it was the same Rahul who was her engineering classmate. She was very happy to find him on FB. Nevertheless, reluctant to send him a friend request. It’s been five long years that she saw him. The last she met him was in the college farewell party. Neha had this (still has) secret crush on Rahul all through her college days. She never disclosed it to anyone, not even to Rahul.

Rahul was an attractive guy and a heartthrob for all the girls in college. He already had huge female fans following him. Neha being a studious and average looking girl didn’t even have the courage to be around him. Nonetheless, her eyes always followed Rahul; in the class room, cafeteria, library and parking lot. She adored him from the day she saw him. In the entire four years of her engineering, she would have spoken to him about 3-4 times. Even on the last day of college, though she tried hard but failed to speak to him. She was really happy to find him on Facebook. She saw all his pictures and said to herself “Rahul hasn’t changed much, he looks even better now”. After watching his pictures for umpteen times, she recalled all the incidents in the college and wished for the college days to have extended for some more years. After the college Neha got a job in Bangalore and shifted from Mysore. Neha took up a paying guest accommodation in Bangalore and hardly went to Mysore. She was so busy with work that she almost forgot about Rahul, until she saw him on Facebook. All the memories gushed giving her a rush of nostalgia. She spent next few hours looking at his pictures on her laptop.

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On a Sunday evening, Neha was sitting in Jaynagar Café Coffee Day waiting for her friend. She heard a very familiar voice behind her table. She turned back immediately and found out it was Rahul. She was totally thrilled to see him at the same time still hesitant to go speak to him. She thought what if he doesn’t recognize her, what if he ignores her and walks out. With all the questions running in her mind she was lost in her own world. Someone patted her back. She turned back, “Hi, is it Neha?” That was Rahul standing behind her with a welcoming smile on his face. “Hi Rahul, Oh yeah it’s me Neha. What a pleasant surprise, how have you been?” she uttered. “OMG! I can’t believe this. It’s been so long and I am so glad to find you here. Where are you these days? Where do you work?” breathlessly asked Rahul. Neha was surprised and still in a shock that she was actually talking to Rahul, the same guy she was longing for all these years. She smiled sheepishly and didn’t know which question to answer.

Then they sat together and discussed about each other’s lives. Rahul went to the US to do his MS after his engineering. He stayed for four years and came back to Bangalore an year before. He got a job and now stays in Bangalore. Rahul told her that it was difficult to recognize her as she looked completely different when compared to college days. Neha was happy to know that he still remembers how she looked five years ago.

Yes, there is lot of changes in Neha now. She is a software engineer, an independent girl who earns well. Her spectacles replaced by contact lens, curly hair straightened, knocked off excess fat. She looks stunning (with her make-over from VLCC). Rahul had all praises for her. Neha was now on cloud nine. Her stomach was doing summer sault. Finally when Rahul was about to leave, they exchanged their phone numbers and promised to stay in touch.

It’s been almost a week now neither of them called or messaged each other. Every time when her phone rings or beeps she would run to find out if it was Rahul. She never attempted to reach out to him thinking she might show up desperate. At the same time, Rahul too got busy with his work and with so many friends around never bothered to ring her. Neha was hoping one day Rahul would surely call her up. This went on for a while and meanwhile one a very unfortunate day Neha lost her cell phone while she was shopping in Forum mall. She searched hard to find, but her efforts were a failure. She was devastated of losing the phone. She did not note down Rahul’s number anywhere. The only thing she remembered was his Facebook account. She decided to send him a friend request. She waited for him to accept the request.

She could not get much information from his account with the privacy settings. She unwearyingly waited for his response. This went on for couple of months. Neha didn’t seem to give up hope. She could not tell her feelings to anyone and at the same time she had a hope that she would meet him some time. As time passed by, Neha too got busy with her work. She did make couple of trips to her home town Mysore. On en route to her home, she passed by J.C college campus, which gushed her memories and brought back Rahul to her mind.

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Months passed by thinking about Rahul. Luck didn’t seem to favor Neha. When life gave her an opportunity she didn’t make use of it. She lost interest in everything. She needed a break, wanted new environment and to move away from the city. After much perseverance, she got an opportunity to go on an onsite to New York. She was happy that a change in place could bring some change to her. She signed for one year assignment and moved to the US. She was a little hesitant initially, as it was the first time she was moving away from India. Eventually, she got used to it. Neha saw a new world, experienced a different work culture and a life style. She shared an apartment with another Indian girl called Rupali.

Rupali is born and brought up in the US. She moved to New York with the job offer. Her parents stayed in California. All went well with Neha. The change in place indeed brought her some peace, but that never lasted for long. She was very soon haunted back with memories of Rahul. She started missing him even more. Rupali learnt the reason for her dullness. Rupali even laughed at her stupidity of waiting for this long and not telling Rahul anything.

She planned to take Neha out on the weekend to cheer her up. Rupali told her to forget about Rahul and move on in her life. Neha was not ready to see anyone else. Rupali told her that she would call some of her Indian friends to the party where she can hook up Neha with someone.
Over the weekend, when Rupali came looking for Neha. Neha was still lying on her bed; she wasn’t in a mood to go out anywhere. She hesitantly got ready in a pair of Jeans and a t-shirt. Rupali uttered “Neha, you look absolutely boring and no one would ever fall for you, not even Rahul”. She pulled out a beautiful dress from her wardrobe and gave it to Neha. Neha had never worn a dress like that before, she denied wearing it. Finally, when Neha came out dressed, she looked stunning!

The girls reached the venue, where the party was arranged. The place was crowded; people were drinking, smoking and dancing. This was the first experience for Neha going to a club. She almost choked of the smoke. There was hardly any place to walk around. She felt totally out of place. Rupali went dancing on the floor with all her friends. Neha found a quite place in some corner and settled down. She was waiting to get back home. She waited for Rupali. When there were no signs of Rupali, she went to call her. She was with a bunch of friends. Rupali introduced everyone to Neha and asked her to pick someone.

The boys seemed interested in Neha but she smiled at everyone and walked out to get some fresh air. Though she had so many people inside, she felt all alone. She was lost in Rahul’s thoughts. Her eyes welled up. By then, she heard a loud noise. Someone slammed the car door; she realized she was standing all alone in the parking lot. She looked around, couldn’t find anyone else, she got scared and started walking towards the lift. She got into the lift and when the lift door was just about to close, someone stopped it. She closed her eyes thinking their hands got jammed. Luckily the lift stopped. To her surprise, it was Rahul! She didn’t believe her eyes. She thought she was dreaming about him and looked away. She only realized it when Rahul called out her name.

Rahul uttered, “What a pleasant surprise to find you here and you look awesome”! Neha was overjoyed and thanked Rahul. He asked her all about when she came? How long she is here? Where does she stay? Etc. Neha answered to all his questions.

Rahul told her that he tried calling her to inform that he was moving to the US on a project but her phone was switched off. Neha recalled the story of her lost cell phone and change in number. She in turn told him about the FB request. He had some restrictions in the client place and so busy with work didn’t find time to login.

Both of them were very happy to meet again and exchanged their numbers. When Rahul asked Neha if she has come with someone? She informed him about Rupali. Rahul started laughing, he came to the party on Rupali’s invite and she was his university friend. Neha and Rahul went inside the dance floor. Rupali hugged Rahul and danced with him for a while. Neha settled down in a corner looking at them. Rahul came and called Neha for a dance. She was not comfortable, after Rahul insisting her she went with him and danced. That was the first time she touched him, she felt a shock in her body. She thought all this was a dream. When Rahul put his hands around her waist, she felt she was the luckiest girl in the whole world. She was waiting for this moment all through her life. Rahul moved close to Neha and said something. As the music was loud, she couldn’t hear anything. Rahul moved even close and whispered in her ears, “Neha, you look beautiful”. His wet lips touched her soft ears. She was overjoyed to hear these things coming from Rahul. They danced for some more time whispering in each other ears. Neha wished for that moment to seize forever. They spoke to each other till the crack of dawn. They spoke to their heart fill as there was no end to it. When Rupali opened her mouth to tell Rahul about Neha, Neha shut her mouth and asked her to keep quite. Rahul offered to drop them home. When they arrived at their apartment, Neha offered Rahul for coffee. Rupali said goodbye and went off to sleep. Rahul too was tired and told Neha that he would come some other time. He hugged Neha and said a goodbye. Neha felt warmth in his hug and didn’t want to let him go. He gave a sweet peck on her cheek and got into the car. Neha waved at him, looking at his car till it vanished.

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Social Networking

There is no such thing called private moments or privacy any more. Thanks to all social networking sites. Everyone gets to know about everything. All the networking sites what we have now has invaded ones privacy. Not that I am not in favor of these networking sites, It has been an integral part of my life too. It’s a channel which has connected me with my friends. It lets me know about the happenings in their lives. I am super cool about getting all the updates about my friends without meeting them or calling them up. The only thing concerns me is about the way people reveal information about their personal lives. Every micro detail about their life is shared on internet. One should know where to draw a line. We get to know who is going around with whom, who had a break-up, what they did on their weekends, who went where for a vacation, what’s their favorite food, what are they allergic to, who they fought with and why etc. All this you could get to know sitting at home without even moving an inch (just a click away). What we don’t know about is that could be dangerous too. You meet/talk to someone within few minute you become friends on these sites. Someone you hardly know gets to know everything about you. What if they misuse the information provided by you? Or may be stalking you?

People just don’t think twice before putting anything up there. The things which were difficult to say on face once, now comes easily without any hesitation. It has become a forum for everyone to rant on what sucks in their life and in others life. Everyone wants to speak their minds off (without thinking).

Everyone wants to have best statuses, best photos with maximum number of ‘likes’ and comments, and maximum photos in their album. It’s even crazier to see their friends list going up every single day. Are they really friends to you? Or just adding up for the heck of it?

Be aware of the consequences if you don’t know someone and you want to be part of your world. Like I said before, I am totally cool about these networking sites at the same time was wondering the flipside of it,is it good or bad? Couple of incidents really kept me thinking on this.

• Be sure who you talk to and what you talk online.
• Share all personal information only with the people you know.
• Accept friends request only from people you know.
• Be choosy in putting up your pictures.